April 28, 2007 Love My Tanker
Do you ever just get so tired that you can't go, you can't think straight and you wonder where the week or month went? I know that our service-members often have jobs that make them feel this way, especially when deployed or training.
We as mil-spouses have a lot on our plates too. Does it sometimes just make you simply exhausted to think about it all?
Our family is on the post-deployment track right now. In saying that - I should be fully rested, brain fully functioning and singing a happy song, no? Well, I should at least be singing in my own head, I have a horrible voice. I just feel like I have been in fast-forward for so long now that I have no idea how to slow down, sit down and just be.
I just honestly think that the last few years, especially since deployments became so widespread, have finally taken a toll on me. You know, as a mil-spouse, you seem to just go and go and go. You do and do and do. Our lifestyle requires us to go and do and drive on.
The years have finally caught up with me though and I am feeling burnt out and that other word, tired exhausted. That leads me to question myself. What have I done for me lately?
The honest answer is, nothing much. At least not lately. I did go to a cafe once a few months ago and sat peacefully while drinking yummy coffee. I also got a much needed face peel two years ago. That counts, right? Gardening is generally my bliss, but this year my yard is lackluster in comparison to previous years. Anyone that knows me personally and could see my yard right now, would be sure to say, "hey, what the heck is wrong with you girl?"
Do you find yourself just speeding down the highway of military life (and life in general) and playing the cards that are dealt to you without taking a moment to consider yourself and what you really need? I think a lot of us do that.
It can be similar in the civilian world too, but because I am a military spouse and once was a career-minded civilian, I can truthfully say that the military world causes us to put ourselves on the back burner more than your average civilian.
Now that I am so tired, I sit here some days and try to figure out where the last few years have gone. What did I do during all of that time? I know that the time was (mostly) productive, even when my soldier was away, but I also know that I haven't done a lot for myself over the years. It is time for me to change that.
When you volunteer, work, go to school, parent, run a household, keep your marriage together even when worlds apart, run kids here and there, deal with medical issues, help your parents, help your friends, help your neighbors or even help strangers, you are a true superwoman. Pat yourself on the back, then go make a list of some things that you would like to do for yourself and forge a plan to make it happen.
In order to regain a sense of myself and take some needed downtime, I am going to try and:
Back off of volunteering so much, just for awhile. I love it, but I am tired.
Get a haircut more than twice a year and stop coloring my own hair.
Make an appointment to get an overdue massage.
Spend more time with my kids doing things we truly enjoy instead of things we have to do.
Hire a babysitter so that I can have date nights with my husband.
Just say no to meetings or other events that I don't really have to attend.
Take more frequent breaks from the news and the computer.
Go camping, hiking and fishing with my family.
Attempt to read all of the books that I have ordered so far this year - which are currently collecting dust.
Leave the dishes unwashed, the laundry in the floor and go sit under a shade tree. At least once a week.
Go back to having days that I do not get out of my PJs, order in and have a glass of wine while watching a chick flick.
If you took the time to think about how tired you really were, would it send you into a week long sleep immediately? Most of you probably already have, but try not to let yourself get as run down as I feel right now. Think about yourself for just a moment and try to find something that will rejuvenate your energy supply.
To see this story on Spousebuzz, Click Here!